On being old

So this weekend was my birthday. I turned 22 for the 7th straight year, which I think might be some kind of record. Although after talking it out with Cora I think for the next couple years I'm going to start telling people it's my 25th birthday. I look young, but I don't know that I can pull off 22 anymore but we think I can convince people about 25.

But anyway ... For the last couple months I had been dreading this. I think when my dad died I lost that awesome youthful trait that allowed me to think no matter what evidence to the contrary death wasn't an option for me. Without that, you start thinking about how each year, each day, each hour etc. is precious. And let me tell you my friends that is a downer. I'm not an external brooder I like to keep things upbeat, but in quiet moments I have been absolutely DREADING this. But then something funny happened. About a month ago, in the midst of an excellent brood I realized that I didn't feel old at all. The things that are important to me, family, friends, my soon to be little one, all don't care that I'm 29 and not 22. And if I'm 29 and feel the same as I did at 22 what's all the grief about? So basically I decided I was being dumb and have completely moved on. I wanted to write this down in case anyone else was going through this. It's rough yo.

2 Final notes
1) I would like to thank the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles for preparing me to turn 30 next year. I had to get my lisence renewed and the lady doing it like screamed my age about 35 times. Then she made me take a vision test where I feel like I failed. So thanks for that.

2) Turning a year older is easier when Carrot Cake is involved. Especially Carrot Cake from this place. Thanks hunny!